This past Saturday our church hosted a 5K race as a fundraiser to support our short-term team we are sending to Gorazde, Bosnia in July–the Bosnia Brze (brze means “fast” in Bosnian). I ran so “brze” that I set a personal record: 33:32! Before you send me any congratulatory gifts, I guess I should say that this is the only race I have ever run. My record time is in fact my only time. But don’t go doubting the authenticity of such an incredible finishing time. Actually, for all of you non-running types, that is VERY slow. To put it into perspective, the winning runner made it accross the line in just 16:54. Most novice runners run a 5K somewhere between 23:00 and 28:00.
Why so slow? Because I am lazy and out of shape? Of course. But there is more to the story. The race consisted of two laps around a 2500 meter cross-country course laid out on our church’s 20-acre property. For the first time around, I pushed Cali and Carson in a double jogging stroller. My goal when I began was fairly simple: Don’t get lapped. I barely accomplished that goal (by only a few seconds). It just about killed me. Any incline required me to lay out flat to push the 80 lbs of giddy offspring up the grassy slopes. I can see you now, making little sawing motions with your hands, saying dramatically, “Whah, whah, whah. This is the world’s tiniest violin playing just for you” There is no need for you to leave comments like this–I have already mocked myself sufficiently for all of you. After one lap, I ditched the monkeys and went the rest of the way solo. But I was too exhausted to make up any time. Sorry Brook, your husband may be skinny and aerodynamic (a.k.a., bald), but that does not make him fast.
Cali joined me at the end and crossed the finish line with me. I don’t exactly know what Samuel (the guy ahead of us) was doing. He took advantage of my fatherly kindness to get Cali and passed me at the line. I think he might have been impersonating Eric Liddell or something.
Maybe this will mark the beginning of a long and successful running career for me. Watch out you formidable 30-minute mark, here I come. Perhaps a marathon someday . . . No, I think I’ll stick to squirrel fishing as a source of personal recreation.
Thank you, Bosnia team, for putting this fun event together. And thank you, runners, for lacing up your shoes and coming out to sweat with us. God graciously used this race to provide the remaining funds needed for the trip.